Yeah, I wriggle, I wiggle, I jump the fence,
These stretchy pants are my best defense.
From biscuit mornings to midnight dance,
They hug every curve, give carbs a chance.
Spandex saints, hear my prayer—
Keep me together when I’m flying through the air.
No shame, no zip, no pop, no plea,
Just bend, just breathe, just wild and free.